Update and Roll Playing

Hi all,

I have been sorely neglecting my blog and my online friends are urging me to write so with a little time on my hands today, I am obliging.

Work has been crazy busy and stressful and I'm working to try to manage my stress better. I have gained 10 pounds since taking on that full-time job and am happy to say I now taken off 4 pounds of it. I am intending to lose another 20 so wish me luck! Life, other than work, has been great although our dismal excuse for a summer is over. :( I would love to hear from you out there. It would motivate me to write more often.

Mr. Loven and I were watching Whitney a week ago or two and there was a segment on role playing. I have tried many things sexually but never role playing. Mr. Loven and I talked about trying it and then we bothed laughed. For whatever reason it doesn't appeal to either of us.

Do you have experiences with role playing? What kinds of scenarios do you like to act out?

The closest thing I can think of trying happened when Mr. Loven and I were working through some issues and having a hard time moving forward. We decided to take a break and go have a date and pretend we were meeting for the first time. It helped actually.

I love sex, probably more than the average Jane, but I don't see the appeal of acting like someone other than myself but I'm always open to being enlightened.

Enlighten me.

As always, warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Finding Your People

I have missed writing and interacting with you, my readers. Life is swirling fast around me and work and the stress of a full-time job leaves me most days just trying to recover. More and more I hope that we are able to find an agent and get one of our manuscripts published so I can retire from the corporate world.

I feel lackluster toward my job and open to finding something new. I could write a lot about that topic but given that it's the weekend, I don't feel like focusing on work.

I think a big part of the journey for many people is trying to find "their people" or group in which they fit. For some it happens rather easily and for others, those more out in the fringe, it seems to be more of a struggle. What brought this to the forefront for me came from two new happenings.

One, our daughter went to a language camp this summer and found her group. She absolutely loved being surrounded by people who share the same passions and interests she has. The second took place when we rented a cabin at the lake for the year. Not only is it a place where we get to relax and enjoy the sun (when it decides to pop out), but we have met so many new people that are interested in getting to know us. The people we have met at the lake are warm, friendly and interesting. Who knew just having a nudist mentality was enough to forge some great friendships. So many people who go to the lake have been going there for years and have maintained long standing friendships.

I wonder if the willingness to bare ones body is akin to being willing to be more emotionally open as well. I guess we will figure that out as we continue to spend time there.

Are you still looking for your niche or group? Do you find it easy to find like-minded people?

I would love to hear from you.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

The Biology of Cheating

Arnold Schwarzenegger has spurred a lot of debate in the news, online, and on talk shows in regards to his cheating and fathering a child with another woman. In past blogs I have been pretty hard on people, men especially, for having affairs. This blog isn’t about condoning or vilifying Arnold’s actions but more about looking at our society at large and discussing the biology of humans.

I believe that our culture, like every other one, is contrived. Many of the “rules” of society originated through religion so many years ago and may have had some merit centuries ago or not. If you’ve studied culture at all, you know that what is “normal” in one part of the world can be considered barbaric, odd or just plain wrong in another and therefore culture and our societal norms are completely changeable.

If we look more at the behavior of our society and less at the morality of it, it’s clear to me that around 40 years of age, a biological manifestation seems to take place in many men and some women as well. Humans seem to be biologically motivated to find another partner or partners. The driving force? I believe it is to spread the seed for men, and to find another mate for procreation for women. My theory on why it is less likely to happen for women than men has to do with women’s libido dropping in their 40s. My theory is that women whose sex drives are still very much intact at 40+, are probably equally as likely to cheat.

Why do people cheat? For one, we live in a society where the honest expression of one’s needs and desires are deemed unacceptable. You are viewed as a flawed human being with something inherently wrong with you if you desire more than one sexual partner. There is not much room in our societal norms to address those needs appropriately and transparently. To a large degree, it is best performed in secret, while condemning others who have been caught or staunchly defending the monogamous credo while cheating at the same time. At least it seems that way in the world of politics and religion.

Should we be able to override our biological urges and desires? I know that many professionals think so. Religion certainly speaks to it. Is that a realistic notion given that the biological drive is a powerful urge which simply overrides logic? I wonder about this because why would people who cheat risk everything that they have worked so hard for? I don’t see the logical sense in that. Could we as a people be set for self-destructive behavior? I don’t think so. Biologically we are driven to procreate to keep our species alive and I believe that leads us to behave outside of the morality of the day. BIO-logic is far stronger than reason logic.

I do fantasize about a more transparent existence but I also think I’m hoping for Utopia and we all know Utopia is a fictitious place.

What do you all think? Please chime in.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Love On My Mind

Hi all,

I know, I know, it's been awhile. It's hard to balance everything and a full job so it had to come from somewhere. I'm still open for blog suggestions and answering questions. It might motivate me to write more often. Believe it or not, I have to blog for work. Not nearly as exciting to write or to read. LOL!

I realized the other day that I'm in a new place of letting even more of Mr. Loven's love in and it got me thinking about love in general.

Do you think you can love someone who doesn't love you back? Do you think you can love a person who doesn't really let you love them? Given that love to me is at least as much a verb as a feeling, I'm not sure it's possible.

So when you fall for someone and they don't fall back, what do you think it is, if it's not love? I mean besides stupidity or optimism? Are we back to limerence or merely lust? Do you know anyone who is zen enough to offer love without getting it return? I'm not sure I would even aspire to that. Actually I am sure. I wouldn't.

Lucky for me I have a man who loves me so well.

Please share your experiences with this and enlighten me.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

I Need to Feel It…

I came to a deeper realization tonight in regards to what I call an emotional connection. And although I still believe that emotions are definitely part of it, it really comes down to what I feel. Energy. Openness.

When someone is open to me, I can feel how they are feeling, I can feel their words, attraction, attention, and intention. When someone is closed I can only hear their words. I can only observe their behavior but I cannot feel the intent. We are not connected.

I imagine for some this might seem hippy dippy, out there spiritualbabble, but I can assure you it’s not that to me.

Mr. Loven and I talked tonight about a couple we dated on and off several years ago and how now I can see why I never understood that he was attracted to me. He told me of his attraction toward me at very end but I could never tell in his presence. He was emotionally closed off so I couldn’t feel how he was feeling. I actually thought he was lying to me because it seemed incongruent to my experience with him. Now I see that he was closed off and not sharing the energetic component of his feeling with me so I couldn’t feel it or tell.

Some people are more visual, auditory or visceral when connecting with other people. For me it’s primarily visceral because of the energy I feel or don’t feel.

My experience with a lot of people is that they are closed off and I’m coming to learn that the more closed off a person is, the less comfortable I feel. I like to know where I stand with people and that is most easily accessed for me through energy.

I remember when Mr. Loven and I first started dating. When we were together we had this great connection but when his daughter came to town he would completely disconnect from me. We would still spend time together but I couldn’t feel him. It was an alien way to spend time with him and I didn’t much care for it.

I don’t turn off and on like a switch. If I am open to you and connected with you then I am. I can withdraw and be more internal at times as I think we all do but my normal state of being is to be open to people I know and like. Even when meeting new people, if I feel comfortable, I am energetically/emotionally open with them. I think that is what people see in my pictures, you can see my energy and I can assure you that you can feel it too when you are with me.

I do wonder if my expectation of finding people who are the same way is unreasonable given our society and how so many people seem to do relationships. People are scared to be rejected, in my opinion, and therefore stay guarded and closed off. Self-protection is not necessarily a bad thing but it is limiting if you are that way with everyone.

I like overt energy. For me there is great clarity in that and zero ambiguity. Two more examples come to mind. When we met up with the guy I mentioned last week or so, I thought he might be attracted to me as our eyes connected and he smiled a few times but I honestly couldn’t feel it. I asked him after the fact and he said he was, very much. Given the circumstance of our first meeting, I felt he was being respectful of the process so it was understandable.

By contrast, when at the recent house party, this woman came up behind me while I was sitting down and leaned her body into me. Her interest and intent rushed through me; I could feel her and see it clearly all over her face. She also clearly expressed her attraction but I wouldn’t have had to hear the words to have known it.

As you can tell I don’t care for subtleties, I appreciate explicit intent.

What are your experiences with being connected to another person? Do you feel it energetically? Or is it more an intellectually experience you think about?

Love to hear your comments.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Busy, Busy, but Not Too Busy for Sex

I was told recently that I'm not a normal 44 year old woman. I was informed that "normal" women in their 40s have very little or no interest in sex. I choose to believe that statement can't be the truth. Not because that would make me abnormal, because I already know that about myself, but because that would be sad.

Today I was thinking how even though I'm working way more than I used to, I still am very much as sexual as I was before. I still have the same interest in fucking and sucking and kissing and playing. Maybe I'm was just gifted at birth with a high libido or I primarily live out of my second chakra (I was told that once.) or maybe I just think sex is one of the best things about being alive and I tend to gravitate to things that bring me pleasure. Maybe it just comes down to priorities. Maybe it's that Mr. Loven is so damn sexy. It definitely could be that! ;)

I have to be honest that it has been a lot harder to get in my daily exercise working as many hours as I have. It's far easier on the days I work from home as I gain at least an hour and half back to my day. I'm slowly finding a good balance that works for me but it does take effort.

I can't wait for the longer days of sunlight. I look forward to being able to walk outside when I get home from work.

Okay, that's all I have to share for now. I'm open to questions, guest bloggers and would love to see some comments.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Life and Times and a Superball Party

Hi all,

Have you missed me much? Life has been whirlwind these days and it seems time is going by way faster than before.

I'm still very much enjoying my job and more responsibility is coming my way. It's good advice to be careful what you ask for. I wanted more, and more I got but then more lead to more and more and more. LOL!

Mr. Loven and I decided to give dating other people together another go and so far it's going very well. We both met up with a man last weekend and we ended up talking for more than three hours over lunch. I have learned to not let my hopes or expectations get ahead of myself so it still remains to see what will become of it. We have plans to see him again next weekend.

Tonight we went to a Superball party, not to be confused with a Superbowl party, although the game was playing on the TV. Think more along the lines of a sex party. When we were first invited we didn't get that the invite was for play instead of watching the game on TV. We actually thought maybe it was a typo but upon reading the invite again we realized what might be in store.

Once we arrived we were given a tour of the house and there could be no mistaken the intent of the party. There were several play areas set up upstairs. By the time we got there many people had already arrived and all were still dressed expect for the few in the hottub outside.

You might be wondering why we non-swingers were at a swinging party. For one, we were invited, lol! Two, we thought it might be fun. We set up ground rules before we headed out to the party which went like this:
Kissing, sucking nipples, and playing with a pussy or a cock with your hand was fine. No pentration including going down.

I actually imagined that nothing would happen, however we seemed to garner a lot of attention. I could have been fucked all night long and into the next day had I been open to it. However, I still want/need a connection for great sex and frankly why have less than great sex? Sex without a connection leaves me feeling hollow afterwards so I have no interest in going there. With that said, however, I did play a bit. I was kissed by four men although it could have more had I been open to it. Mr. Loven was one of the four and still by far the best kisser I have ever experienced. I was kissed by a few women as well and actually made out with one.

I'm not sure if Mr. Loven kept track of the all the women kissing him. Boy was he in high demand. He suck a couple of nipples along the way as well. My breast stayed in their bra although they were fondled a bit. I did actually play with a very long thick cock which was fun. I was half-time between his conquests.

We were handed several phone numbers on our way out, from some we hadn't even spoken to. One of the best parts of going to the party for me was leaving feeling incredibly beautiful. A couple of men actually called me gorgeous. The people there were so nice and I never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to do. We got to see people walking around in all states of undress, people having sex in the upstairs rooms and in the main room as well. One of the most wonderful parts of it for me was that there were adults of all ages there enjoying each other.

I haven't changed my stance or concerns regarding STDs but I'm more of the mindset to live and let live. If it doesn't matter to them, why should it matter to me? I still will do what I need to do to keep myself safe but I think we might have made some new friends by branching out.

The best part was coming home and sharing our heightened sexual states with each other.
Touch Down!

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Chemistry

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. We had family in town and we had an excellent time. I am still trying to find a balance in my new busy life. Some days I find it overwhelming but mostly I'm excited about my new job and trying diligently to pass my old job along. That is not going nearly as quickly as I'd hoped.

Which brings me to today's post. Chemistry. I find it odd and very unpredictible. I have had chemistry in the past with men who I didn't even particularly like. What is that about? I have a neighbor who I have no interest in (just saw him again yesterday). I may have mentioned him before. Everytime our paths cross, which isn't often, it again takes me by surprise to have the chemistry swirling around us.

Other times there are people who I really like and enjoy but there is zero chemistry. I don't think it's a rational process and am left feeling it's either biological or psychological. I'm leaning toward biological. Maybe I'm responding to his pheromones or his attraction to me?

I still feel chemistry with Mr. Loven thankfully. I think that is something that dies for many people.

What do you all think about chemistry? How does it work for you? Is it something that's either there or not or can it grow? For me it seems fairly instantaneous. Either there or not unlike emotions that can take their time to grow.

Love to hear from you.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

Happy Holidays

I have totally neglected blogging as something had to give in my busy life.

All is very well on the work and home front. We just spent a nice, quiet, relaxing holiday at home and went to a gathering last night with friends.

I still have a lot to say and share on here and am hoping to pass off one of my part-time jobs soon so that I have less on my plate and more time to enjoy my leisure activities.

I must share that it has been excellent to have extra money this year to spend on gifts. I have had so much fun shopping for other people and a bit for myself as well.

After our walk this morning, we are heading out to shop some more.

I hope all you have had a wonderful holiday and that the new year brings everything you are hoping it will.

Thanks for sticking with my blog.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven

The Holiday’s, Food, and Music

I have scaled back my calories hoping not to do my usual winter climb. I decided to eat exceedingly healthy between our holiday parties and hopefully drop a few pounds before family comes to town and we spend too much time eating yummy things. So far so good, I’ve lost a couple.

I received this amazing gift basket from work full of treats. It’s a least a 20 lb gain all said and done. Mr. Loven was kind enough to put it away in our closet until we have plenty of company to help consume the goods. I must admit I’m looking forward to diving into it, especially the chocolate.

My most favorite treat, of course, is the cock and second place goes to chocolate. It’s the best PMS medicine in the world! I do have to be careful though because it’s so easy to over indulge in it. We have two food events this weekend and so I’ve been very good this week so I don’t have to deprive myself at the parties.

I’m not sure what’s with me this year or is it every year but I just can’t get into the holiday music. Well except for Adam Sandler’s Hanukah song. That just cracks me up. I haven’t heard the latest updated version but I’m sure it will be equally hilarious.

Life is a world wind of doing lately. Your be-er blogger is masquerading as a doer and she is very very tired.

Hope you all are enjoying the holiday season. Can you believe it’s almost 2011 already? I for one cannot.

Warm hugs and sexy kisses,

Loven